While editing my short horror story for the anthology, I noticed a problem with my writing. A friend helped me see it, but I am happy I figured it out.
I have quite the problem with passive voice and showing vs telling. For instance, after noticing it, I changed this sentence, “Objects from the room were getting hurled at him by forces unknown.”
To this, “Unknown forces hurled children’s toys, books and anything heavily weighted at the monk mercilessly.”
You can see the change in quality, voice, and showing vs telling immediately can you not?
If you are a writer, remember to check your showing vs telling and look at how you are using a passive or active voice. It really makes a story more enjoyable.